Here’s One Way To “Elevate” Your Business

Okay, imagine this scenario: There’s an annual two-week festival in your town and you’re looking to “seize the moment” and promote your business. The first thing you’d think of would be to take a lawn chair, attach over 100 helium balloons to it and see if you could take off and land at said festival, right? Well, Daniel Boria, a self-proclaimed skydiver, attempted just that — except instead of making a splash at the annual Calgary Stampede, he succeeded in getting his stunt splattered across social media … and in trouble with police.

The 26-year-old from Calgary, Canada, was trying to cash in on promoting his cleaning products business by buying 110 balloons and filling them with helium — costing Boria a cool $13,300. Don’t worry, he was economical in at least part of his stunt: The “cockpit” consisted of a $20 plastic lawn chair he bought at the large retail chain Canadian Tire.

The plan was for Boria to take to the skies on the opening weekend of the Calgary Stampede, an annual rodeo and festival that attracts hundreds of thousands of people, and land right in the middle of it. However, the weather didn’t cooperate on launch day and strong winds pushed Boria off course, which forced our lofty entrepreneur to emergency parachute about a mile from the grounds. His balloons and chair were found later that evening.

While he didn’t succeed in landing at the festival, Boria’s stunt made international news and was trending all over social media. Police weren’t amused at his antics and promptly arrested Boria, charging him with “mischief causing danger to life.”

“Everybody sort of laughs and thinks about some guy in a lawn chair floating over the city, but when you sit back and think about it, it’s just very irresponsible,” said Inspector Kyle Grant. “I think he’ll end up out-of-pocket quite a bit. It probably would have been cheaper to get a billboard.”

We’ll agree, but as they say there’s no such thing as bad publicity — even if it’s full of hot air.

Not Cut Out For The Job

There really should be a warning statement on the first page of the Stickup Artists Guidebook. It should read something like, “Before you consider a career as an armed robber, you should consult with a physician to determine if your heart is up to the stress inherent in such employment.” Poor Wayne Clark, 52, found out the hard way he just wasn’t healthy enough for the job.

Seconds after he strode into a grocery store in Edgewood, Maryland and announcing a holdup, he clutched his chest and dropped dead from an apparent heart attack. When police searched his home they found evidence linking him to two other robberies. Is this what you’d call “three strikes and you’re out”?

Until The Court Rules, Sing Something Else

Did you know singing the classic song “Happy Birthday to You” could get you sued for violating a copyright? It’s okay if you sing it, perhaps sorta quietly, at a private indoor party for your kid, but if it qualifies as “a public use,” you could be in trouble.

Yup, it’s the one you’re thinking of: that simple little 15-word thing with a changeable 16th word — the name of the birthday boy or girl. But the copyright belongs to Warner/Chappel Music, and they still make about $2 million per year off the copyright. Here’s where it gets murky: The original copyright should have ended about 1921, but changes to the law and a bunch of lawyer-driven technicalities have kept it going through the revolving doors of several courts for almost a century. Now it’s up to a federal court judge in California (of course!) to rule on whether the birthday song is still subject to copyright control, or, is it “generic” and open for use by anyone?

We doubt the original composers of the birthday song, sisters Patty and Mildred Hill, would be amused by all the fuss and haggling over money. Mildred passed on in 1916; Patty hung on until 1946.

That’s Some Pretty Expensive Soap, Pal

If he just would have gotten his figures right, Abdulkarim Altareb would have been home free — and rollin’ in dough. When the 48-year-old Yemen-born traveler was being questioned by U.S. Customs officers at JFK Airport before getting on a flight to Qatar, he was asked to declare how much U.S. currency he was carrying out of the country. The limit is $10,000. He told officers he had $6,500, but then pulled out just $5,780. Curious about where the other money might be, they decided to inspect Altareb’s checked luggage. Good hunch, guys.

Inspectors found over $770,000, most of it in $50 and $100 bills, hidden in packages of Alka-Seltzer, Band-Aid, Dove Soap and Thera-Flu. Thousands more were stuck in boxes of seasonings, Splenda sweetener and stuffed in the soles of shoes and the lining of a jacket.

Altareb was arrested for money-smuggling. He reportedly claimed the money belonged to several family members and they needed it for a building project in Yemen. Officials said there was no evidence the cash was bound for terrorist use, but, y’know, sometimes two plus two actually equals four. Either way, Abdulkarim won’t be bringing home any happy bundles. There’s also the issue of where the money came from …